Heavy Heart.

My heart is aching for someone I love very much. Her dreams came crashing around her today and I just want to fix it. I know the pain of shattered dreams and I know deeply the pain she has already suffered because when her heart hurts, mine hurts with her. Life is so hard. I’ve walked around in a fog all day, not only troubled by her pain, but also by the pain in my own life. I’m overwhelmed and for half of the day just wanted to curl up in a ball and forget that I exist. Jared and I were (and still are) in the midst of an intense disagreement. One of those situations where you both feel you are right and there is not anything else that can be said. I laid on the couch and cried as the lies of the enemy flooded my head. “He doesn’t love you. If he loved you, he wouldn’t let you cry like that.” I fought the thoughts away, because I know they are not true. And, guess what happened next? Jared gladly went to Chick-Fil-A to get dinner so that I wouldn’t have to cook. I am amazed and humbled that this man serves me as he does, even in the midst of conflict. What a gift. Later, while Jared was out helping a friend, I spotted a song I had torn out of our church bulletin on the kitchen counter (”All Creatures of Our God and King”) and I felt the Lord say, “Lyra, just sing praises to me.” So, I sat on my kitchen floor and sang as my boys argued over a blanket in the living room. I just ignored it and sang louder. Wow. It was so good for me. He knew what I needed. Here are the verses that really jumped out at me:

“All ye men of tender heart

Forgiving others take your part

O Sing Ye! Alleluia!

Ye who long pain and sorrow bear

Praise God and on Him cast your care.

Oh praise Him! Oh praise Him!

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3