Choices, Choices

I write about 100 blog posts in my head daily, and by the end of the day, I’m so tired I can’t put any of my thoughts into words.  Would you like to catch a glimpse of my brain in action? If so, keep reading.

Topics I’ve mulled over (and over and over):

1.  All of the things I’ve enjoyed doing with Gage in school this year (I’m one of those weird homeschoolers.)  And, the things I’m planning on changing.

2.  The way in which I have been extremely introspective over the past few weeks.  Analyzing and re-analyzing why I feel certain ways in certain situations.  It’s wearing me out!  I’ve got to get over it!

3.  The sweetness of my 2 year old asking us to pray when we put him to bed.  And, how I found him hugging his friend and telling him he was sorry, with no prompting from an adult.  This kid is just plain sweet and I could write a blog post daily on how he brightens our lives.

4.  The funny things my 8 year old says.  Oh, and I plan to post a picture of his latest “costume”.  He has been Indiana Jones for the past 2 days.

5.  Life here at seminary.  Not always easy.  Glad Jared’s not in school right now.  Oh, and we only have one more year left!  That’s exciting!

6.  I actually have a lot on my mind about seminary life right now.  In fact, that’s what has consumed my mind over these past few weeks.  Things like:

-Having time to socialize when you barely have any time to spend as a family.  Something has to go, and it ends up being the social aspect  of our lives.  It’s either spend the small amount of time you do have with close friends or try to develop new friendships.  We’ve chosen to invest in the small handful of friends we have.  It’s hard because I feel that it causes us to appear as if we don’t give a rip about all of the other people around us.  Not the case.

-Dealing with the fact that there are MANY people around here who don’t know us for who we really are.  And, coming to grips with the fact that it is impossible for that to happen.

7.  And, why exactly am I so worried with people knowing me for who I really am?  This, I have also pondered endlessly.

8.  Coming to grips with the fact that I have issues with worrying far too much about what other people think of me.

9.  How is this issue going to impact my life when my husband becomes a pastor?  I see lots of growing in my future.  And, I don’t think it’s going to be easy.

10.  Life as I used to know it.  A glimpse into my past, living with a drug addicted husband. (No, not Jared!)  The problem is, where do I even start.  And, what do I share?  That would be why I haven’t blogged on this topic as of yet.

11.  Racism. How living in the Midwest has opened my eyes.

12.  All of the AWESOME outdoor ventures the boys and I have enjoyed here in the great state of Missouri.  This place truly is beautiful.

13.  Careers I would choose if I could live my life 3 or 4 times.

14.  The struggles of raising 2 kids, spaced 6 years apart.

15.  My postpartum psychosis nightmare of 1999.

Okay, I’m going to stop now.  I feel better.  Any votes on what I blog about next?