A Little Scare

Last Monday I began experiencing what seemed to be the beginning of a miscarriage.  I immediately called the doctor and they told me to go to the ER because they were unable to fit me into the ultrasound center.  So, Jared and I went over to the ER with all kinds of thoughts swirling around in our heads.

After waiting for a couple of hours for the ultrasound people, we were finally called.  We thought we would have an answer right away, as the ultrasound was performed.  But, we were wrong.  The techs are not allowed to share any information about what they see.  So, I watched Jared’s face, as he watched the screen ( I wasn’t able to see), and tried to guess if he was seeing something hopeful.  He began reporting what he saw, informing me that he could see a baby, and that it looked like a sea monkey.  He also thought he saw a heartbeat.  The tech, of course could not confirm any of this.

We were sent back to the ER, where we waited for a bed.  I really didn’t care about having a bed.  I just wanted them to tell me if I was having a miscarriage or not.  I don’t even know how long we waited for a bed, but we were finally called, and I was told to put on a gown and lay down in the bed.  We proceeded to wait another couple of hours before we saw anyone.  Finally, a nurse came in, who was acting like I already knew something about my condition.  I finally interrupted her and said, “Wait a minute, did they find a heartbeat?  I have no idea what is going on.”  She immediately pulled up my chart and said that the doctor would tell me more, but that they had found a “viable life with a strong heartbeat”.

Another hour or so passed.  By this point I was furious, and Jared had just summoned a nurse by telling her that his wife was ready to yell at someone, so to please send someone that his wife could yell at.  So, when a woman arrived, I assumed she was the nurse Jared had summoned.  I looked at her and said, “I’m really pissed off right now.  We have been waiting for 6 hours to hear if our baby has a heartbeat. When will the doctor be here?  I’m assuming he will be in here next, right?”

The woman responded, “Well, I am the doctor.”

I sheepishly said, “Oh, okay.”  Oops.

She then proceeded to tell us that the baby’s heartbeat was strong and that he/she is placed at the correct location in my uterus.  The baby has a 95% chance of surviving, just as they told us with Shea.  We were relieved to hear all of this news after hours of not knowing anything.

Eight hours after arriving at the ER, we went home with good news for our boys.  Shea asked me within minutes of walking in the door, “Mommy, is there a baby in your belly?”  My eyes fought back tears, and I said, “Yes, honey, there is a baby in there.”  He then asked his classic “Why?” and I responded, “Because God wants that baby to be there right now.”

I’m learning to be thankful for each day that I get to be pregnant.  I’m one of those weirdos that actually likes being pregnant, and so I marvel at the thought of all that is happening within me as I go about a regular day.  In the past, I’ve always been a really impatient pregnant girl, because I’m nervous about the baby and just want to get to the next stage so that we are closer to meeting a life that I can be more in control of.  I don’t like having to trust God to take care of the baby.  I just want the baby to come so that I can take care of it. Sounds like a really healthy pattern of thinking, huh?

Somehow, God is changing all of that inside of me this time around.  I’m learning to thank Him for another day that I got to carry a baby He is in the process of making.

Sidenote:  I promise to not make this blog a baby blog.  There is nothing wrong with baby blogs.  I have plenty of friends who’s blogs are for that very purpose.  However, that has never been my intention with this blog.  So, don’t worry, all you baby blog haters.  I’m not going to do it!