Lately….

I’ve had a lot of ups and downs.  We are at a time of transition in our lives, but we don’t know where we are transitioning to.  It’s hard waiting.  And, it’s hard watching my husband yearn to have a job in his calling and still have to work his tail off trying to make ends meet where we are. We didn’t expect this when we were at seminary.  I know of other seminary families who have encountered the same trials, and I’m encouraged to watch them finally find jobs in their callings.  I believe it will happen, but it sure isn’t easy waiting.

By the way, I have a great husband, and I’m so proud of him.  His job, which payed our bills through seminary, came to a screeching halt back in November.  His paychecks dwindled to $75/ week and we just didn’t know what to do.  He spent hours in his office, doing all of the internet stuff that I don’t understand at all.  He was told by some, “Well, you may just have to go get a job at Wal-Mart.”  You know, all the cliche sayings that really grate your nerves at times.  Jared felt sure that he could work hard at what he knows and make some money from it, and that is what he did.  And, God is providing.  He always has, and I am always amazed.

In the middle of searching for ways to make money, Jared has also been applying for any ministry job that catches his attention.  At this point, we are willing to go anywhere.  It’s a strange thing to be completely open to anywhere God opens a door.  We could end up anywhere, including outside of the US.  We just want to be there and plug in.  We’ve been in transition since last May and I have to admit for all of us that it’s getting old.  The boys want friends.  I want friends.  Jared wants friends.  We long to be in the place we believe we are called, but we don’t even know where that is. There have been some disappointments since moving here.  There is more loneliness than I expected so close to family and old friends.  This is disappointing and causes me to yearn even more to settle and put roots down somewhere.

Last month, we celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary.  We sat across from each other at a restaurant, looked into each other’s eyes, and both agreed that we are happy with our marriage.  Life is hard, there are many unknowns, but we know we love each other and are satisfied with our marriage, and for that I am so incredibly grateful.  Is it perfect? Of course not.  And, we talked about some things we can change.  But, we also talked about all that we like about each other.  What a relief to look into my husband’s eyes and hear him say, “You’re exactly what I need.”  I am grateful that when life is tough and there are so many unknowns, we are able to cling together.  This is truly God’s grace in my life.  I know what it’s like for things to be different.

I believe God is stirring me.  I feel emotional and vulnerable, and lately, in church I am on the verge of tears the entire time.  I’ve felt this before in my life, and it is always on the precipice of something.  I believe He is in the process of preparing us for what lies ahead.  I’m excited and nervous at the same time.

We will keep you all posted as we learn more of what lies ahead.  In the meantime, we would greatly appreciate your prayers.